Four Swords the Haunted Hotel
by SpiritofSilverWater
Summary: The four swords and Shadow decide to take a break and go to a hotel. Little do they know about what that hotel is like. Rated for Red screaming and Blue breaking furniture and annoying fairies. Total crackfic, now with a FIFTH chapter. Why? Because I'm evil!
1. Chapter 1

Haunted Hotel

"Come ON guys!" shouted Red happily. The four swords and Shadow had decided to take a break and spend the night in a hotel for once. Red looked like he had never been happier. All of them were happy to get to sleep on a bed for once in their quest. Or sleep at all.

"Easy for you to say." Grunted Blue, "You aren't carrying anything."

"Yeah Shadow!" said Green, "Can't you at least help us out?"

"I could, but do I want to?"

"Guys, come on! Hurry up we're almost there!" shouted Red, pointing excitedly to the hotel.

The hotel was a nice 6 story building that was out in the middle of nowhere. Or near Death Mountain. However you want to put it. It had nice brick walls, curtained windows, and ominous lightning flashing eerily and threateningly directly above. Nothing scary.

"Am I the only one who noticed the lightning?" asked Green

"Eh, it's just a storm you wimp!" said Blue

"Why is it only above the hotel?"

"Because the storm is centered there and slowly spreading. Much like earthquakes and tsunamis." Said Vio

"Come on guys, I'm hungry and you're taking FOREVER!" Red whined

"Oh shut it." Grumbled Blue back

So they continued on to the hotel. When they finally got there, Green paid the fee and checked them all in, minus Shadow who just went into the dark world to make it cheaper. When they got into their room, they decided to check it out. It was a basic hotel room. Except that this one had four beds. They were tiny beds made for one person so someone would have to sleep on the floor. Then there was a door leading into a bathroom with a toilet, bathtub and sink. There was also a rack to put towels on. There was a big window which showed the view outside. Mostly the ominous lightning though.

"Well Shadow, have fun sleeping on the floor!" said Blue

"Why do I have to!? Why can't you!?" Shadow shouted back

"Because everyone else was paid for." Said Green

"But I just saved you a ton of rupees!"

"It's still illegal."

"So?"

"Just sleep on the floor."

"Fine, but I get first shower."

"No way, I do!" shouted Blue

"You get a bed, I get first shower. You'll use up all the hot water!"

"Will not!"

"Guys! Stop fighting!"Red shouted trying to stop the group from fighting.

"Yeah, Blue, just let Shadow have his shower." Green said

"Can't I ever just read in peace?" asked Vio with a sigh.

"Too late!" said Shadow, who already ran into the bathroom and locked the door.

"Aaaggh! Get back out here you stupid jerk!" Blue shouted

"You're the only stupid one here!" came Shadows reply muffled by the door.

"Graaah!"

"Ok Blue, he got the shower, now can you calm down and be quiet for a change?" asked Vio

"No way! I got to give it to him good!"

And thus the usual happened. The group does something as a group, they bicker pointlessly, and Blue gets mad. Nothing unusual yet. Unless you count the lightning, the fact that the floor creaks without any boards there, and that the sun set very early tonight. But who really pays attention to that?

Anyhow, after they all got showered and ready for bed/floor, they turned the lights off and went to sleep. But they weren't expecting what was yet to come. The landscape portrait right above the dresser between two of the beds was changing into a portrait of the worst creature known to Hylians, Gorons, Zoras, or even Gerudo. Or you could call it Navi, whichever you prefer.

"Guys, it's dark and scary!" Red whined

"Oh shut it you wimp." Grumbled Blue

"I wish I brought ear plugs." Said Shadow

"Green, didn't you bring a lantern here?" asked Vio

"Turn it on and I will kill you." Said Shadow

"Would you rather listen to Red all night?" Blue grumbled

"Fair enough."

So Green turned on the lantern. Then Green saw the picture of Navi. So-

"Who the heck keeps saying that stuff!?" asked Blue

"Don't break 'the wall' Blue." Said Vio

"Well I wasn't thinking about it till now." Said Blue, looking at the wall behind him.

"Not that wall, THE WALL."

"What are you- oh."

So they decided to check out the portrait. Or tear it down, stomp on it, and burn it to a crisp with the lantern. However you'd like to put it. Then Red started to cry, and Blue tried his best to ignore me narrating like this. Unfortunately, Blue is very bad at ignoring things that annoy him. So I ended up sleeping on a street lamp on earth for the night. Far far away from Blue. Then something creepy happened. The burned portrait of Navi started to unleash this smoky substance. That weird smoky stuff turned into Phantom Ganon. Which is actually much better.

"What the heck!?" yelled Blue

"I don't know, dead man's volley doesn't sound too bad, much better than listening to that annoying fairy." Said Green

"Yeah Blue, it looks better than you too." Said Shadow

"Shut it!"

"Blue! Save me!" shouted Red, who was being chased by a bunch of octorocks. Octorocks are horrible, they're like Hyrule's spiders. They're every girls worst nightmare, and Red's, since he's a sissy.

"Hey!" shouted Red, "Am not!"

"Stop breaking 'the wall'!" shouted Vio

So after they defeated Phantom Ganon, Navi appeared. This was a much worse challenge to face, in the end they ended up stuffing her in a bottle that is locked deep in a dungeon in the Dark World for all of eternity. Then Green went downstairs to see if they had any red potions since they got a few scrapes with their game with Phantom Ganon. Or third degree burns, whatever you want to call those injuries. The others were waiting patiently in the room for their leaders return. Or knocking over furniture and yelling because he's late. However you want to imagine it. Then Green's head got slammed through the floor right beside Blue's foot, so Blue reacted by slamming him back down with his hammer. Red just screamed, Vio was indifferent, and Shadow was enjoying every moment of this. Then the lantern went out, which made Red scream even louder, and made Blue hit Red for screaming. Shadow was perfectly fine because he can see in the dark.

"Ow! What the heck Blue!?" shouted Green, rubbing his head

"That's what you get for sneaking up on us!"

"Guys, I can't see and I'm scared!" Red cried

"Oh come on, it's perfectly fine here." Said Shadow, "isn't it nice, the dark? I can finally see and not get burnt!"

"Good for you." Grumbled Vio, "you can see, but we can't."

"Stinks for you guys, you're missing out."

"oooooohhh!" said a ghost which appeared out of nowhere. Red screamed, even though he barely understood what was going on. It was like the water temple all over again. Then outside, Majora's Moon suddenly appeared and started going on and on about how he was going to destroy everything. He's almost as annoying as Navi. Anyway, Red was very grateful to hear my voice, because it relieved tension. The others however, were not so happy because they thought that I am being very annoying. So I'm just going to end it here before Blue beats me up. After this, the ghosts went away and it turned out this was all just a prank by Shadow because he loves messing with the other Links. But one question lingered in the back of their minds. Just where is this voice coming from.

"Hey, look, listen!" shouted Navi

You're annoying, you know that Navi?

"Well you're even more annoying!" Blue yelled at me.

"I am more powerful than you!"

"Are not!"

Vio sighed

Here's some ear plugs, because when I fight, it gets loud.

The others gratefully put in the ear plugs.

And my point? It's fun to make the group bicker pointlessly. This is also my first fanfiction, so this is just a test to figure out how exactly to use fanfiction. Thank you for reading this and please review. Like it? Great! Hate it? Ouch, but Great anyway!


	2. The Second Time

Haunted Hotel part 2

**A/N: i couldn't help it. it was origionally supposed to be a one-shot but i changed my mind. Enjoy!**

The five swords thought that it was over when they found out it was all Shadow. But this crazy author loves screwing up their lives, so they are going to have to go through it ALL. OVER. AGAIN! It all started after the hotel incident in the middle of nowhere. With me being Caption Obvious. Or acting like Fi, however it's put. They were spending the night in the guest bedroom of Zelda's castle, so nothing should happen right? I mean, there's MAGIC protecting the place for Din's sake! But author powers overrule it so their lives are going to be crap for yet another night. This is all taking place at around 11 at night.

"Ugh! Why does ANYPLACE need this many lanterns!?" Complained Shadow, who was currently hiding under the blankets on one of the five beds.

"Because some people like to see." Said Green.

"Can't they just learn to see in the dark?" Shadow whined

"Scientifically speaking, most average humans would not be able to see in pitch black, or near pitch black." Said Vio

"All of you nerds shut up." Said Blue, who had his pillow over his face. That's a good thing too, because after he got mad at Red for eating all the candy, no one really wanted to see him.

"Shut it!" shouted Blue

"How many times do I have to tell you idiots to stop breaking 'IT'!?" shouted Vio

Thank you Vio. Anyway, after they all got tired, they went to bed. Which I won't ever understand because who goes to bed that early anyways!? Shadow however, is used to being a creature of the night. So he was the first to see the horror that was coming. Navi was back!

"Guys, HIDE!" Shadow screamed

"What's wrong?" asked Green, but it was too late because Shadow was already halfway across the planet in the Dark World. "HEY, LOOK, LISTEN!" shouted Navi. Red screamed, and Blue instinctively swung his hammer. Fortuetly, he hit Navi and sent her flying against the wall. I used my amazing powers to warp them into Majora's Moon. Where there was yet another hotel. Not to mention the Moon Childern. And because I have never played Majora's Mask, I don't know anything about the children. So I'm just assuming this is what could happen.

"Daddy!" said one of them, running over to Blue.

"What the heck!? Get away from me!" he said, hitting the moon child with the hammer. Majora then appeared, looking like a woman with blue skin and long blue hair and a devil tail.

"Honey, how dare you hurt one of our children!?" Majora asked Blue bewildered

"Get the **** away from me!" shouted Blue, running towards the hotel. I was cracking up over my own cleverness of making Majora think she had a husband. And Blue's reaction to it. Either way, Majora and the Moon Children found that they could not enter the hotel, so they were waiting outside, leaving the Swords trapped in the hotel.

"What the heck Shadow!?" Blue screamed at Shadow

"What!? It's not me this time!" Shadow said

"How do we know you're not lying?" As if to answer his question, which it was, a bunch of fairies, bunnies, adorable little birds, and the cutest puppies and kittens ever came up to Shadow and started cuddling against him. And they all GLOWED!

"AAAAHHH!" Shadow screamed, "I HATE YOU SO MUCH!" he screamed that last part at me before running and hiding under the reception desk.

"Stop it!" shouted Vio, who was getting sick of everyone breaking 'THE WALL'.

"Who the heck are you anyway!?" shouted Blue, pointing his sword in the air as if to threaten me. Too bad I was behind him.

To answer your question Blue, I'm SpiritofSilverWater. But since that is one heck of a mouthful, just call me Sylgia. I just love messing with you guys so much, I just had to do it again.

"Screw you!" shouted all five swords except Red who was both too nice and hiding in the corner and whimpering in fear. I told you he was a sissy.

"I AM NOT A SISSY!" Red shouted

"STOP BREAKING THE WALL!" Both Green and Vio screamed

Blue was actually doing a decent job of scaring me with his glare, so I ended up on an electric wire all night on earth. Far above the ground and away from Blue. And if any of you Links break the wall again I'll let Majora and the moon children get you.

"Hey Red, why don't you get all those little animals and take care of them. Before Shadow loses the last of his sanity or kills them." Said Green

"Yay!" shouted Red, who was somehow suddenly himself again and all happy and stuff. He started petting the glowing animals and getting them away from a twitching Shadow. I'll never understand that kid.

"Ok Mr. Emo, you can get out from under there now!" said Green

"I AM NOT EMO!" screamed a still scared Shadow.

"Oh come on, they're just some little furry critters. They're not gonna hurt you." Said Blue snickering.

"THE LIGHT BURNS!" Shadow screamed, still in a fetal position.

Just then a bunch of angry cuccos came into the room. Everyone screamed and ran upstairs, where the goddess Farore appeared to them.

"Oh Wow! Farore!" said all the Links in wonderment except for Shadow who just hid under the bed of the room they randomly ran into.

"Yeah, um…" said Farore

"Yes?" asked Vio

"There's no easy way to say this, but I changed my mind about giving you guys the triforce of courage."

"WHAT!?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna give it to Vaati."

"WHAT!?"

"uh huh, you heard me right."

"Farore! What are you thinking!?" said Nayru, who suddenly appeared in the room

"Oh, hey Nay."

"You should give it to Ganon instead! I already gave wisdom to him!"

"WHAT!?"

"Well, you are the smart one."

But since I like Shadow too much, Farore didn't do that, instead, she gave them Navi.

"HEY LOOK LISTEN HEY BLUE LISTEN HEY LINK LOOK LISTEN HEY!"

"NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" They all cried in unison, even Shadow, who was still in shock. Blue was trying really hard to ignore me and the mess I was making of his life, but as I said last chapter, Blue is very bad at ignoring things that annoy him. Which he should be slightly better at by now, especially since he has Red to practice on. Red was opening his mouth to in object, when Vio clamped a hand over his mouth. Just then, the angry cuccos burst in through the door and tried to peck them to their doom. Shadow has reached his limit and was absolutely insane now, and in his state, he attempted to jump out the window, to his Majora doom below. However, Vio caught his foot and dragged him back up, and after they escaped the cuccos, they tied Shadow down to keep him from doing anything. After a while of him screaming out random gibberish, Blue attempted to knock Shadow out, but his hand just passed through Shadow everytime because you can't hit a shadow. However, Red's 'comforting' hug did. And now since I've had my fill of hurting Shadow, and scaring the crap out of the others, I returned them to the castle. However, I left them with one last surprise. A castle full of Navis.

"Curse you Sylgia!" shouted Blue

You're the light of my life too.

"Why do you hate us!?" cried a still in shock Shadow

I love you guys so much I just have to do this. *cough* IloveyouShadow *cough*

"What about me?" asked Red giving his cutest face

You're adorable. I can't believe how much I'm uploading today. Fanfiction is so awesome.

"Why did you hate us enough to add another chapter?" asked Green

Through the support of a friend.

Zelda came in

Hi Zelda

"Hi Sylgia!"

"You two know each other?" asked Green

"Oh yeah, Sylgia's been a friend of mine for a long time. She's also in some aincent legends so-"

"What!?"

That's a story for another time bye!


	3. Shadow helps me get revenge

I'm BACK! And I'm ready to torture today's victims, the Links!

"No!" All the Links shouted in unison

Oh suck it up you bunch of sissies.

"Hey! Who are you calling a sissy girly!? OW!" shouted Blue who just got whacked on the head with a block of ice.

Ok, listen up sissies. If any of you complain, or break the fourth wall, Shine and Pitch will personally come in here and beat you up or slap you. So you'd better hope you get Shine, because she's nicer, except for Shadow, cause she uses light. Oh wait, that's right. I promised that because I made Shadow suicidal last chapter I would let him help me torture the others!

"So if you choose me I get to play with them right?" asked Shine hopefully

As long as you play rough and at least draw blood.

"Hmmm fine." Shine pouted.

"O_O" said the Links minus Shadow who was grinning very evilly.

"Oh, I'm gonna ENJOY this!" said Pitch, devilishly sharpening her claws

"Come on Pitch, at least have fun!" said Shine cheerfully

"You bet I will."

Shut up and wait for them to break the wall and whine. 'Tis all taking place at Lon Lon Ranch. The Four Links were all hanging out there with Malon, when Shadow appeared and put a giant bomb right in the middle of the field. Vio tried to diffuse it, but it ran on magic, so he couldn't. 3-2-1 and… it exploded in a peanut butter and milk mixture. Also, it destroyed the moon, but that's not important. Suddenly the area was flooded with water, and for some reason, it was all too powerful, and so the Four Links passed out from lack of oxygen as the waves carried them away. I told you that they're wusses. When they woke up, the first words were.

"WTF Sylgia!?" shouted Blue. Well Blue, don't say I didn't warn you. Ok, Shine and Pitch. Einy Miney, Miny Moe, Catch a tiger by his toe… hmm wait, that's not a bad idea. Catch Blue!

"Wait, wha-AH!" shouted Blue, as a tiger was dropped on him. Shadow used magic to move Blue and make him catch the tiger by his toe, and umm, your innocence does not need to know the details. Luckily, Green covered Red's eyes so he would not have to witness the violent and umm, crimson colored, tiger attack. Anyway, Navi flew in and revived Blue, so we could continue torturing him. Shine then came in and slapped Blue hard across the face. They were now on a deserted beach at night. Wait, that's probably why it's deserted. But, they were near, you guessed it, a hotel.

"Ok guys," said Green, "Do NOT go into that hotel."

Go in the hotel.

The Links started walking away.

Alright, if that's how it's going to be, then fine. Go Pitch.

"Aw yeah!" said Pitch, as she started laughing maniacally. Pitch then warped on the beach near them, and her black fur helped her blend in perfectly in the night. That's right, no moonlight, remember, we already blew it up. Pitch let out a creepy hiss, and jumped out, tickling Red to death, and smacking Blue with her mace tail. Green and Vio came in to try and help Red, since she was quite literally tickling him to death and he couldn't breathe, but she smacked them away into the hotel and threw Red in after them. It's ok, Red had a soft landing, because he smacked into Green as he was getting up and landed on top of him. An explosion was heard and Blue fell into the hotel as well, running his mouth. The doors locked and the windows got covered over with metal. No escape.

Red gave a pathetic look and the sad puppy dog eyes.

Nope, look as pathetic as you want. No mercy.

Red started pouting.

The lights turned on in the hotel and revealed a receptionist desk, run by a ghost. A very large ghost with big muscles and about a million different weapons in his see-through coat.

"HOW MAY I HELP YOU?" he bellowed slowly

"I'd like some ice cream please!" said Red naively

"Ooh! Me too!" said Shine

So the ghost got them ice cream. However, Red got spiked ice cream. The stuff I spiked it with allowed me to possess him. Shine however, got normal chocolate ice cream with sprinkles. Possessed Red then said: "Hi! Sorry, but it's time for you to finally see your doom. But look on the bright side! We all lived decent lives!" Blue, however, would have none of it, and smacked Red back to normal with his hammer. Or unconscious, whichever you prefer.

"Ooh! You have tickets to the carnival!? I'll take two please!" said Shine to the ghost receptionist. So Shine got her tickets.

Anyway, when I made Ruto appear, Green ran upstairs and locked himself in one of the rooms. The one that was not a room, but just a door in the middle of the wall that lead outside to a three story drop.

"Nuh-uh Sylgia! You are not allowed to kill them!" said Shine, who caught Green

Yes I am, I already killed Blue. According to the authors laws, as long as I revive them with means that can be used in game, I can kill them.

"Well according to the laws of OCs, I can disobey you because YOU don't own me and you cant decide my personality. Cuz I'm OC." Countered Shine.

… the carnival is starting.

"OOH! YAY!" shouted Shine, who ran away to the carnival.

… right, well the others ran up to see what happened to Green, where they met Shadow again.

"Hi! Did ya miss me?" asked Shadow grinning

"No." said Blue, who then got blasted out the door leading to the drop with magic. Where Pitch hit him back up with her tail.

So, now you guys know not to mess with me. School started and has put me in a bad mood. So I'm taking it out on you guys.

"That's mean!" shouted Red

Yeah? Well so am I. I said no whining, and since Shine is gone… Pitch?

"Hehe. This is going to be fun."

Don't hurt him too bad, he's as naïve as Shine.

"Fine." So Pitch beat him up just a little bit. (she scratched him and hit him on the head and he started crying) so Vio carried him away.

"Hey! Only I get to beat up the pipsqueak!" shouted Blue

"Can I?" asked Pitch

Sure.

So Blue got beaten up. When she was playing ping pong with him against the wall (yeah, he was the ball) Shine grabbed Pitch and dragged her away.

"Come on Pitch! I need you to help me win that dolphin!"

And so now that Shine and Pitch are gone… GO PIKACHU!

"Pika!" said Pikachu, electrocuting all of them. So Shadow put one of his ever famous bombs in the hotel and blew it up, forcing me to end this. Shine and Pitch had fun at the carnival, Shadow got his unspecific revenge on Blue, all the Links were fine thanks to some fairies, and they got stuck with Navi again. Pikachu went back to the Smash Mansion, and I got to take out my anger on the Links.

Blue: WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BREAK SOME POTS OR SOME OTHER CRAP!?

Shadow: Because pots don't complain and feel pain like all of us.

Vio: Obviously, she is a very cruel person with little knowledge of the outside world with anger issues and the love of seeing things in pain.

I do not have anger issues!

Green: Sure you don't.

Red: R&R people!

I don't care if you reviewed an earlier chapter, REVIEW AGAIN OR I WILL PERSONALLY MAKE A TORTURE STORY OF ALL OF YOU PEOPLE WHO READ THIS BUT DON'T REVIEW GETTING BEATEN TO AN UNIDENTIFIABLE PULP!

Red: Blue! She's scaring me! *hugs blue*

Blue: Hey! Get off of me!

Vio: I would highly suggest reviewing.

Shadow: Unless you want to end up like those moblins *shudders*


	4. Twilight Princess

Chapter 4

Hmm, well, I got kicked out of the Four Swords Universe, so now it's time to torment another one! Let's see, Majora's Mask? No. Skyward Sword? Not yet. Ocarina of Time? No, I haven't beat it yet. Ooh! I know! Twilight Princess! Perfect!

The hero Link was coming home to Ordon Village. After he saved the world, he wanted to go home and see some old friends. So he walked into the village and…

"AH! THE GOATS ARE LOOSE!"

Link got into position, and wrestled the angry goat to the ground. The goat baah-ed softly before turning around and walking back to the ranch. Mayor Bo walked up to Link.

"Link! It's been so long! It's great to see you again!"

Ugh! I can't believe this! Joyous reunions are NOT my style! Alright Link, it's time to get mean.

"Wait! Who ARE you!?" shouted Link worriedly. He should be worried. It's ME we're talking about.

You'll find out later.

Illia came out, followed by the kids. After greeting Link, they ran off back to his tree house. Link wanted to catch up with Rusl and his wife, so he decided to follow them later. But then he heard Illia scream, so he came running. When he got there, he saw that his house has been transformed into a hotel. He then saw the kids trapped up in one of the higher windows, so he treated the hotel like a dungeon, and went into it. That's when he saw Princess Zelda in the lounge.

"Hello Link!"

"Uh, Zelda? What are you doing here?"

"Well Sy-"

No! I haven't told him who I was yet!

"Oops. Well, that voice you've been hearing told me to come here. It also got me out of all my royal duties for today."

"Well that's… strangely nice of it."

Riiight. Of COURSE I'm an it. I do not at all sound FEMALE!

Link and Zelda rolled their eyes.

Moving on, Link went upstairs to rescue the kids, when a rock hit him in the face and made him fall over. He looked at it and it turned out to be the Twilight Shard. That was now somehow duct taped to him, making him turn into a wolf again. And because I'm cruel, I used my author powers to summon… fleas!

"AH! Itchy itchy itchy itchy!" shouted, well, barked Wolf Link

Zelda came upstairs to see what the barking was about, and saw Link dragging his butt on the ground.

"Uh, Link?"

Wolf Link looked up at her.

"Try a flea collar." Said Zelda, putting said collar on him.

Wolfy pouted, but stopped scratching.

They went up more stairs and stepped into a room. There they saw Midna reading a book.

"What are you staring at!?" she asked rudely

"Nothing! Do you know where Illia and the kids are?" asked Wolfy

"Don't growl at me!" Midna scolded. "Keep your pet under control Zelda."

Uh, Midna. That's Link.

"I know."

Ok. So anyway, the three proceeded up the stairs, where a trapdoor awaited. Wolfy fell down the trapdoor, straight into a bathtub. Filled with a ton of nice girl shampoo and stuff like that that smells WAY too strong. And as he was a wolf, it was MUCH worse. Too bad Wolfy, you stink and needed this DESPERATELY. You can thank me later.

Midna and Zelda walked through the bathroom door and proceeded to scrub a struggling wolf. After they were done, Wolf Link shook himself dry on them and started rolling around on the floor. The two princesses scolded him for getting them wet, and I proceeded to laugh. For **I** am the ghost that haunts these hotels! MY domain, MY rules!

"Can I tell him your name yet?" asked Zelda

Sure.

"Link, that is Sylgia. She's not actually a ghost."

Did you have to tell him that?

"SHUT UP!" shouted Midna, who did not like us breaking the wall.

They walked into the room where the kids were trapped, and instead saw Navi. Midna just killed her with her Twili powers, and that's good. But you know what isn't? The fact that Epona is now stuck in a tree. After they walked into the room, a sword became visible. I now decided to allow Link to become human again. Then I walled off Zelda and Midna and summoned a ton of monsters. Link found that he no longer had the Master Sword, so he pulled the conveniently provided sword that split him into four. Dun dun duuun! Did anyone think that I would write a story like this and NOT put the Four Links in there? Link's shadow just happened to come to life as well. And like in Zelda II, Link tried to kill his shadow. But this time the sword just conveniently passed through. After the five links killed the monsters, I gave them the kids back. But first, I gave them a reminder of the past. What did I give them? Vaati the Wind Mage, that's what.


	5. Chapter 5 Boredom

**A/N: Ugh! So bored. Life uninteresting. Giant 2 and a half hour test. Must. Cause. Suffering.**

Ah, my good friends the Four Sword Heroes! Always the perfect victims! No! Must refrain from physical damage, studies show most readers didn't like that as much. Hmm, the only thing left to do is make others suffer with me!

It was a normal day with the Five Links. Shadow was staying away from the sun, Blue was complaining about the peace, Red was happy, Green was doing whatever it is Green does, and Vio was trying to enjoy the peace. Well, TOO BAD! Two and a half hour tests make me bored and cranky, so you guys need to suffer!

"NOO!" shouted the Links

"Not you again!" Complained Blue

Hey, I promised no physical damage.

The Links sighed in relief.

So you're going to be as bored as I am!

"NO!" shouted Blue

I thought I taught you the dangers of breaking the fourth wall! Don't you ever get anything past that think skull!?

Now, as I was saying before I was interrupted, the Links were having a day off. When suddenly, the nice forest surroundings vanished and was replaced instead by a boring art museum. Blue pretended to die of boredom, Shadow just didn't care, and the other Links were enjoying the museum. Wait! Enjoying!? That isn't supposed to happen! What else is boring… school! The walls of the museum fell away to be replaced by a classroom. The display cases were turned to desks and tables and the exhibets hanging on the walls turned into chalkboards, whiteboards, and projection screens. Blue and Shadow found themselves walking into their seats against their wills, while the other Links just sat down. Hmm, what am I forgetting… oh, they need a teacher! Hmm, someone rude, obnoxious, gross, obnoxious, scary, and obnoxious… Ghirham! Mr. Obnoxious walked in right then and began glaring at the class for lousy fashion sense. Vaati was then shoved unwillingly through the door in his Wind Mage form into a desk also.

"What is HE doing here?" Shadow hissed to Blue

"Who are you talking about, the guy who tried to kill us, or the 'obnoxious' teacher?"

"Both."

"SHUT UP ALL OF YOU STUPID BRATS!" Ghirham shouted

"I AM THOUSANDS OF YEARS OLD!" Shouted Vaati back

"AND I WAS THERE AT THE BEGINNING OF HYRULE!" screamed Ghirham, throwing a copy of the Hyrule Historia at Vaati.

Isn't school wonderful? Anyway, the class soon found Ghirham to be everything I said he was, and found that he was also: annoying, had irrational mood swing, acted disturbingly like a woman sometimes, wore an inappropriate outfit, did weird things with his tongue, constantly called them pets and tried to teach them to bow down to Master Demise. He also liked rubbing his superiority in everyone's faces, particularly Vaati's and so Vaati bit him and effectively got sent to the principal's office. Principal Demise didn't want to put up with him, and sent him to the 'Correctional Room', which is also known as the Councilor's Office. He found some drunk guy there who clearly had too much Chateau Romani.

"K, councilin' time? Got it." Said the man between hiccups

"What are you gonna do, tell me what's right and wrong?" Vaati said snickering

"In poetry." Said the guy, "Ahem, verse one of two hundred and forty, in a series of nine-thousand."

That was when screaming could be heard from the councilor's office.

"I hope Vaati is ok." Said Red

"Relax." Said Shadow, "No physical harm, remember. I bet he's just trapped in boredom worse than this."

"QUIET BRATS!" screamed Ghirham

"…Blue, Ghirham is scaring me!" whispered Red

The bell rang and Shadow was sent into a dark magics class, Vaati was excused only to go into English class, Red went into Science class, Green went into band class, Blue went into Welding Class, and Vio went into Social Studies. After 45 minutes the classes ended, with Vaati looking tortured from so much poetry, Blue with various burns, Vio looking bored from listening to what he already knew, Shadow looking like he wasn't very pleased, and Red looking very confused. Eh, school is boring. HAUNTED HOTEL TIME!

The Links found the school changing into a hotel, and raced for the exit, only to find Re-Dead barring it. They went for the emergency exit, to see Ghirham barring it.

"Mr. CreepyGuy, or Re-Dead? No contest." Said Green, going for the Re-Dead. But it was too late, hotel was up and running with every exit blocked off. Blue let his mouth run free and effectively got soap shoved into it. Red whimpered and tried to hide behind Blue, and everyone else had the expression of 'not again!' Too bad I'm evil. Time for a creepy quote. You have to follow the instructions or die. Fablehaven streak man.

A deep pool appeared, and started filling slowly with water. Next to it a shallow but large pool of clay appeared. A gigantic armos appeared also, being perfectly still, holding a stone tablet with writing in ancient Hylian.

"What does it say?" asked Green

"Build a champion. Time is short." Translated Vio

"Who knows how to work with clay?" asked Green. No one responded. Tick tock guys.

"We all have to work together. Blue, start shoveling out clay into a pile, Green, Red, Vio and I will start building it. Vaati, get an overview and smooth it out with magic!" said Shadow

No one moved.

"NOW!" he snapped

The Hylians were in action, working on building a champion. Vaati smoothed it out and carved out some smaller details that could greatly affect chances using wind magic. Shadow started shaping a sword for it out of magic and clay. Blue was making a good sized pile of clay, and the others were building the body.

Time was up. The golem that the Hylians built went to face up against the Armos. It was an exciting battle, as the golem's sword sliced through the armos. It was a close fight, but the golem won, and a new path opened up.

The next was a round room with crystals in various locations. Another stone tablet was set in the center of the room. According to Vio, it read:

_The crystals have grown dull. No one would ever want to mine them anymore. They weep for what was lost. Don't drown in their tears._

Sure enough, water started filling the room from under the crystals.

"What do we do?" shouted Blue

"We need to make the crystals shine again!" said Vio. So the Links started trying to clean the crystals.

"It's not working!" shouted Blue. A beam of light reflected off of Green's shield, and into a crystal. It began glowing brightly, and the light spread to the other crystals, and an exit appeared.

The last room simply had a large stone circle in the center, and a tablet just outside of it. Vio read it;

_Wrestle a Goron, don't lose._

"Wait, what?" asked Shadow

A Goron appeared in the ring.

"Good luck heroes." Said Vaati

They glared at him.

"So who's doing it-one two three not it!"

"I don't think I would be very useful.."

"I'm not getting myself killed!"

"The most logical choice would be Shadow."

"What!?" shouted Shadow, who got shoved into the ring. The Goron tackled him to the ground, and beat him up. Shadow, got mad, and shot the Goron out of the ring. Well, counts to me, only because it was Shadow….I'm not bias.

So they got to the end of the room, where a chest appeared. In the chest was a note saying:

_Sayonara suckers._

_Arigoto, soshite, sayonara._

_ -Sylgia_

"What does that even mean!?" asked Green

"Goodbye suckers; and; thank you and goodbye." Translated Vio

"…THAT LITTLE-"

**Oh my god I updated. For those who haven't already, you may want to follow this story. Even I don't know when-or if- I'll be updating. If you tell me to type more, I will. It may just take a while.**

**Who knew Vio knew Japanese/Romaji huh?**

**Anata ga kore o yomu koto ga dekireba, anata no purofiru ni kore o hari tsukemasu. **

あなたがこれを読むことができれば、あなたのプロフィールに貼り付け

**If you don't know what it says you can try translating it!**


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